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Friends, "The One with the Breast Milk": Will people stop drinking the breast milk?

My review/recap of the September 28, 1995 episode after I take my grandmother to the vet.

Friends, "The One with Ross's New Girlfriend": What the hell happened to you in China?

My review/recap of the September 21, 1995, second season premiere after a chicken poops in my lap.

The Sopranos, "Big Girls Don't Cry": That's the new pecking order

My review/recap of the February 13, 2000 after I crack my head open on a cigarette machine.

Friends, "The One Where Rachel Finds Out": Give us a chance

My recap/review of the May 18, 1995, Season 1 season finale after I rub my head to turn back time.

Breaking Bad, "Open House": That's not who we are

My review/recap of last night's episode after I get peas and ice.

Curb Your Enthusiasm, "The Smiley Face": You never give up a cabinet

My review/recap of last night's episode after I play "Danny Boy" on my flute.

Falling Skies, "What Hides Beneath": We're taking the fight to them

My review/recap of last night's episode after I pad my stats for jumping rope.

Entourage, "Out with a Bang": I deserve good things

My review/recap of last night's episode after I totes kid you about LeBron winking at your girlfriend.

The Sopranos, "Commendatori": I felt right at home

My review/recap of the February 6, 2000 episode after I hit the topless beaches and see that crater.

Friends, "The One with the Birth": Good thing we're in a hospital

My review/recap of the May 11, 1995 episode after I celebrate Lesbian Lover Day.

The Sopranos, "Toodle Fucking-Oo": There has to be consequences

My review/recap of the January 30, 2000 episode after I try doorknobs until I hit the jackpot.

Friends, "The One with the Ick Factor": Rob that cradle

My review/recap of the May 4, 1995 episode after I ask who the most powerful Power Ranger is.

The Sopranos, "Do Not Resuscitate": You let it go

My review/recap of the January 23, 2000 episode after I drive by Jimi Hendrix's house in Seattle.

Friends, "The One with the Fake Monica": You know there's already a "Joseph Stalin"?

My review/recap of the April 27, 1995 episode after I take off my clothes and have a nightmare.

The Sopranos, "Guy Walks Into a Psychiatrist's Office...": We'll make a family reunion out of it

My review/recap of the January 16, 2000, second season premiere episode after I exercise more impulse control.

Friends, "The One with the Evil Orthodontist": Just leave her the message already

My review/recap of the April 6, 1995 episode after I cook toast or oatmeal naked.

Friends, "The One Where the Monkey Gets Away": How could you lose him?

My review/recap of the March 9, 1995 episode after I master the difference between "Bring me the..." and "Pee in the... ."

The Sopranos, "I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano": These people have no love or compassion

My review/recap of the April 4, 1999 first season finale after I learn some coping skills.